Blogging, Balancing, Organizing–My Latest Failings

I’ve been thinking about my blogs as they exist now, and I’m not liking what I perceive.

For one thing, I get almost no comments, and that isn’t necessarily a sign that I’m an unsuccessful blogger, but it makes me feel silly sometimes. “Well, obviously no one’s that interested in what I’m writing, so why bother?”

Why indeed. I started blogging for ME, because I wanted to, because I think it’s a good way to collect my thoughts and possibly connect with an audience, even if not with the sort of pieces I really want to publish. As time goes on and my view counts stay down, and I can never seem to become a “Blogger” (with a capital B because I’d be recognizable and maybe it would even be slightly lucrative), no matter how long I do it, I get discouraged. No one actually starts a blog because they expect it to be a mega-hit. But my constant lack of visibility is essentially the same as never being picked out of the slush pile.

The metaphor may not be appropriate, because I’ve done so little submitting that my work hasn’t had a chance to actually be in slush piles. But the state of being among a huge amount of comparable blogs and never being special enough to be noticed basically puts me in the internet’s slush pile.

It’s confusing to me. How is it I have over 100 followers and usually get only 15 views or less when I post? (Dear WordPress: please fix yourself so that I actually get views when people read my posts.)

I hate when I end up blogging about blogging. Some people write about blogging for a specific reason and it makes sense for them. I only ever do as an apology, really, to myself and the few people who are interested in reading me, when I haven’t been making good use of my blog.

I don’t like the way things are with my blogs right now, both this and the No Recipe Life, and it’s making me feel like creating a brand new blog and starting over. The thought of actually doing so is almost sickening to me. I don’t want to start over yet again. So I am trying to think instead of how to arrange things on my existing blogs so that I can post about whatever I want on whichever platform seems to fit best, and it’s giving me a headache. Many people, I’m sure, would tell me to hire a consultant, but there are several reasons I don’t want to. One of those is that I can do it myself.

Listen to me. Rambling on and on with no point. As always. I’ll end with this, so I don’t just write myself off the end of the world:

Please, readers, keep some faith in me. Don’t unfollow (unless you legitimately don’t like my blog–then it isn’t beneficial for either of us, so by all means, go on your way), don’t skip my posts. Give me some constructive criticism. I care if you like this blog, and my other one. I will get it together. It won’t be today or tomorrow but if you wait a little longer maybe I can create something people will care about.

P.S. Regarding Five Things Fridays–I started doing them with the intention that they would be a way for me to wind down from the week, and attempt to get the writing ball rolling (or something) for the weekend. It turns out Friday nights are not a good time for me to plan to blog regularly, because it’s often a social night for me. In addition, all the cool ideas I had, like posting five flash pieces or five awesome literary quotes, always seem to get sidelined in favor of me complaining about random things from the day or the week. Basically, it’s not serving its purpose for this blog. Thus, I’m going to stop using that form, and I’ll try to come up with another regular post day that will actually focus on writing. I might start FTFing on the other blog, which you should go check out if you want to read my thoughts on food and random stuff.

NaNoNo Update

Twelve days into the month, I have decided it’s time for an update. There isn’t much to tell. Here’s the main points:

 

-I did pretty well with staying on track the first few days.

-After that, I didn’t write for a few days.

-Lost momentum, and I’ve barely written anything since the very beginning of the month.

I probably should have just kept on with a story I was already into, rather than starting on short stories that had barely managed to form in my mind. I don’t have a clear picture yet, of any aspect of the stories–just bits and pieces. How was I expecting to make that into something so quickly? I feel like I’m getting nowhere.

Here’s the bright side: I’m learning from NaNoWriMo experiences. First, it seems that at least to some degree, I am more productive when I have specific goals, rather than just “Yeah, go do some writing.” Second, NaNoWriMo, being intended for churning out stories as quickly as you can, is a good way to get a story down that has already gestated for a good while in your mind (that is, for me). … Damn it. I don’t think I’m saying this right. The thought was clear in my head, but when I tried to type it out, I lost the words, and now I can’t figure out how to articulate this thought that really seems significant at the moment. I ask you, if this is still going to happen, what the hell is the point of being a writer?

Well, I’ve bashed my hopes enough for one evening, I think. Time to go curl up into fetal position until tomorrow.

No Things Friday

I couldn’t think of five things today if my very existence depended on it. Today was one of those days that I suppose wasn’t actually bad, but it was certainly the opposite of good. At this point, I’m trying to get ready to go out for dinner (because I thought I’d leave early, to get myself out of the house) and I don’t feel good about anything I put on. I wish I could get from my apartment to the area I’m going without anyone looking at me.

The only way I could think of a full list would be five things I hate about my life. While ranting does have its place in life (not least on the internet!), that place is not here. ┬áSo I’ll just skip it this week, perhaps take my new INSANE spiked hobo bag out for a test run (it’s kind of heavy), and try to feel slightly better about life.

I’d be happy to take suggestions for my Five Things Friday posts. I’ve already begun to regret it, because usually after the first three things I sit there wondering what I could possibly write next until I manage to pull something out of my ass. (Not literally. Why are you SO disgusting?) It’s harder than you might think to do these posts, so if you have a concept, I’d be happy to hear it.

(Please leave suggestions in the wordpress comments, rather than on facebook or anything other site linking the post, because I seriously hate that…)