Career? Development?

Both question marks are appropriate because I don’t even know…

 

Did I mention? My job was just made full time! Oh, right, I did mention it, in my piece about not being able to handle the recent events… But moving on from that, I have been promoted to full time, Editorial Associate, with a very nice pay increase to go along with it. My responsibilities will mostly remain the same, but the expectation both from me and the boss is that I’ll be able to complete more work each month. This is my second week, although only the first working all five days, as the T was not running last Friday… I already miss 4-day weeks. I feel like that sounds entitled or unnecessarily whiny, like “Oh poor you, complaining about having a full-time job when there are so many un/underemployed people.” Yeah, I know. I was one of them for 4 years after graduating from college, so…

I am also taking an online writing course. This is the first week, and I just looked into the first assignment last night, as I didn’t have that much time Monday or Tuesday. My first impressions are that this class might not offer any new skills to someone like me, who has a lot of experience with writing and literature. Some of the stuff they were talking about for this week’s assignment was so obvious to me that I wondered why they were bothering to explain it. However, my intention in signing up was to have deadlines and directed focus for writing, perhaps to remember skills I haven’t used for a while, and hopefully to kick-start my motivation. In addition, there will be a forum for getting peer feedback on writing, so I can be reminded of how to be more effective in my writing endeavors. It’s not a huge time commitment either, so I will find it at the very least something to do.

You know how sometimes, you’ll have a thought as you’re writing, but somehow it escapes you in the few seconds before you can put it down? That’s ridiculous, but it happens. It actually just happened as I came to the end of the last paragraph, and that thought is not coming back.

It’s not that I don’t have motivation now, by the way. No, the trouble is that I always feel motivated to write in the morning when I have to get ready/leave for work, or while I’m AT work, because my creative brain is perverse and cruel like that. When I really have the time and availability to write, I just don’t feel like it. I should, probably, get into the habit of forcing myself to open a word document and write. Or maybe do some pen-and-paper writing every day. The act of writing with a pen promotes creativity, you know.

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Luck?

Well, kids, I have a very legitimate-sounding excuse for posting so infrequently this month. Two, in fact, if you count my birthday (which, if events were any indication, very few people do).

I was busy getting a job! (Well. Another job.)

That’s right. A PUBLISHING job no less. After years of hoping and wishing and occasionally interviewing, I landed a position at a small press in Boston. I am the newest employee at Academic Studies Press. Here is their website if you’re curious. It starts as part time, but it could very well become full time in the future. I’ll be starting in two weeks.

One might think that the extra employment means less time to write. I’m hoping that this will go a long way toward straightening out all my financial crap, which I find very draining, and I will have more energy and feel more motivated to write. Of course, doing healthy things like exercising would probably give me more energy than working, but I’m going to ignore that fact for now. Just about everyone in this economy gets that money troubles do not make for a good state of mind to work on things such as writing.

Sad, isn’t it? Following your passion almost always takes a backseat to somehow managing to pay all your bills. I think that’s something wrong with the world.

Still very little inspiration coming my way. Gotta do my taxes and clean my room. Also, have to somehow make a massage appointment with my groupon. Why the hell did the place have to be in Newton?

Help!

I feel guilty that I’ve been neglecting my blog. It makes me feel like quite a bad writer. But thing have not been coming together for me to have much chance to write lately…

I’ve been working five or six days a week, and when you consider the commute time of an hour or more, and sleep, that does not leave a whole lot of free time. Of course, I could always give up sleep, but I can sadly no longer function on the few hours of sleep I used to use quite well. Six hours a night used to be ok. Now I usually need much closer to 8 in order to feel functional, and not droopy-eyed. I would give… something… to be able to function on less sleep.

Then, of course, there’s my computer, which has been extremely temperamental lately, hindering my ability to have a reliable working tool. I could get it fixed, but I want to avoid spending that money until I absolutely have to. In the meantime, I suppose I could return to handwritten work, but that does not excite me. Particularly since I will then have to type up the writing I do, an extra step that should have been avoidable.

But beyond that, I honestly just don’t know what you’d all like to read. I don’t get a lot of feedback when I post creative work here, so I don’t know for sure if anyone’s even reading it. I don’t know if you like it. If I remember correctly, the pieces I like most get the least feedback. Thoughts? Suggestions? Requests?

Next post: organizing my thoughts and projects. Or, Another Life…

Hopefully, Inspiration

So many goings-on lately, I’ve had a hard time sitting down and writing. There was some moving in my house – the beginning of the shifting living arrangements, which will be going on until June (and then I have to find somewhere to live in the fall…), and there was my computer breaking…

I’ve fixed it, but I still haven’t written much lately. I feel that I should post something, but since I don’t have any new writing to share, I can relate my news.

I have a second job! The first has still not gotten around to giving me a reasonable number of hours each week, so I needed the second one. Even better – it’s in a bookstore! Working with books can refresh my writing motivation. I get ideas that way, or sometimes just being around books makes me feel like writing. I’m hoping that will hold true for this job and it will help me to be more productive than I have been lately.

This job is a temporary position, with the possibility of it turning into a permanent one. If you, the readers, seem interested, I’ll let you know what happens.

In the meantime, I’m keeping the first job, but the temp job is 32 hours a week, so I probably won’t be trekking out to Somerville all that often. It’s something of a relief, because it takes over an hour to get there on the T…

In writing news: I have plans for this Another Life series I’ve started. Plans that I’m sure will take quite a long time to implement, particularly considering my other projects. Plans that can be simplified by saying “a book of microfiction.”

Toil and Trouble

In so many ways, February was a bust. I generally look forward to February, but I don’t usually expect to get all that much done. There’s always something distracting about the month… when I was in school it was winter vacation (and wanting to spend as much time in leisure activities as possible), in college it was the end of Field Work Term and the beginning of Spring term.

I didn’t reach my goals for the daily average. I only wrote during a minority of the total days in February, and the end result barely works out to over a page a day. It’s pathetic, if I think about how much I could have gotten done. I had a lot of days of uselessness. I am planning to let it go and focus on writing more from this point so that I can finish at least most of the book by my deadline of tax day. I will publish this book this year. I have decided. But, as usual, I’m behind, so I’ll need to find a way to guarantee productivity…

And then there’s Morning Pages. Remember how I mentioned that I often forgot about them? Well, I forgot about them for approximately two whole weeks – maybe longer. I was keeping my Morning Pages journal downstairs to use while I waited for my coffee to brew. It ended up under the living room table with a pile of my things and I completely forgot it was there. I guess it will take slightly longer than I thought to build up that habit. I will prevail tomorrow!

 

Now for the life front. In case you wondered, I am still looking for a job. My work at the moment is minimal. I barely get calls and I can’t take all the shifts I’m offered, so I am making a sad excuse for an income at the moment. There seems to be a high likelihood that because I’ve been in this situation for so long, possible employers won’t see any evidence that I can do well working full time in an office… but I think that part of the reason I’ve been so unproductive is that the work I have now never challenges me enough to wake up my brain. I need challenges other than constant stress about finances. Don’t we all?

Someone is always out there to tell you some version of “you create your circumstances.” I am sure there is some truth or other to that, but there are a lot of things I can’t control. I can’t help that what I want isn’t practical at the moment, and the employers that should be recognizing someone worth hiring keep overlooking me… it never used to take me so long to come across the right path. Now it seems like I’m very lost. What’s up with that?

Just an Update.

Well then. One full week of November later, and I’m thus far supremely undedicated in my N0-NaNoWriMo exploits. I’ve written a single short story – very short, in fact, it was flash fiction – and haven’t worked on any of my outstanding projects that were on the list. I feel, once again, like a bad writer —

not because the writing I do is bad

because I just fail to actually do the writing. I intend to gather my concentration and write more this week than one could reasonably expect. Then I can say I’m a good writer again.

The story I did write was a horror story, written to submit to a site called MicroHorror, which published horror stories under 666 words. It’s not exactly a typical subject for me, nor is it really my best writing, but it’s still relatively well-written, interesting, and creepy. I am 99% positive that there were no grammar mistakes, at least.¬† I have submitted it and should know fairly soon whether they will put my story on the site.

When I finally manage to do the work I’ve been meaning to do for weeks, I’ll have a nice list of submissions to wait to hear back from. (I’ve been trying to work the end of that sentence so that it both makes sense and doesn’t end in a preposition, but somehow it just didn’t happen. Suggestion, without rewriting the entire sentence?)

 

For those of you who are interested in aspects of my life: I now have a job! Not officially yet, until I do the orientation tomorrow and Wednesday. Then they’ll have me in their system and I can get paid money. This job has nothing to do with writing, but that’s all right. It’s money, and it won’t sap all my creative energy – always a danger in the type of job I truly want. Some days, I might even be free to work on writing (mentally developing, that is, not the actual writing). Either way, I’m certainly looking forward to making money again. I’ve been unemployed – aside from the one, glorious freelance job completed in August, paid in October – for 5 months.