The Latter Update

I just saw that I have 250 posts, making this 251. I suppose that’s good? I don’t know, I’m finding it hard to have opinions about many things these days. Too tired.

My plans for “NaNoNoWriMo” ¬†over the weekend–that is, writing at all–did not go well. I didn’t even really have a good reason, unless you count watching four episodes of Dracula (which were quite fabulous. I think I’m just liking the whole Victorian England aesthetic right now, which is making me fall in love with this show). I did some work as well, but overall the whole weekend consisted of me watching hulu and sort of failing at food.

All this means that I am still sitting on only 7000 words for the entire month, probably almost none of which are really any good. I still have a chance to catch up a little over Thanksgiving, but I definitely will not be reaching my goal of 30,000 words. Oh well.

I keep trying to think of ways to fix my stupid brain so that I will write. I know I want to do it, I know I feel better when I’m writing regularly, and yet I never do. Doesn’t that sound stupid? Isn’t it nonsense?

I will post again in early December about the total NaNoNo experience, but I have a feeling I won’t have much else to share. I probably won’t post again before Friday, so Happy Thanksgiving!

How Else Could It Be

July is now almost over. I know, I don’t have to tell you that. You already know.

Once again, it seems that time is moving on while I stand still. And yet, I’ve been running around the city like crazy, seeing apartments and going to work and, thankfully, spending some time with friends.

And as usual, what I haven’t been doing is writing. It’s been at least two weeks since I got much writing of any sort done. Mostly, it’s my fault, as I allow myself to be distracted by other things in life, instead of setting time aside to get writing done. Mostly, people understand and say things like “I would probably do the same thing if I was trying to find a place to live.” Of course, that doesn’t help me be more productive, or make me feel better about neglecting my life’s purpose.

Do you ever question the one thing you usually are sure you were meant to do, and then wonder why you exist at all if it is not, in fact, your purpose?

Sometimes I spend an entire day feeling as if everyone is judging me, and always unfairly…