Overloading

I had a very strange experience yesterday. I woke up and felt very odd and different than usual. I thought I must have finally reached emotional overload, because I just felt numb. Not good, or bad, or anything at all. Then, partway through my commute, I started feeling again. “There it is,” I thought to myself. (This, of course, only serves as more evidence of how horrible the T is. Even when it’s not.)

 

I have this thought that some of the things in my past – and present – that I haven’t fully processed are part of why I can hardly write anymore. Blocking reality is blocking creativity. Whether any of these things are actually having an effect on my ability to write or not, I still think it might be time I thought more about them. There are some things I will not go into, either because this is not the right forum for them or because I don’t have enough facts to know what really happened (and I don’t write speculative¬†non-fiction).

When I do delve into some of these things, opening myself up for criticism, pity, or any other negative response to my experiences and thoughts, I hope very much that you don’t think less of me or of my blog when you read them. (Especially the blog. It hasn’t done anything wrong!)

Considering how hard it is for me to really open up to anyone, let alone the entire internet, I doubt this will happen often. I’m talking about it now because it is a departure from my original intentions for this blog, which was only meant to be used as a place to share my creative work and thoughts about writing. At this point, though, this seems like it’s going to be part of my writing process, so you get to read it.

 

I almost hope that you don’t.

Slow Spring

I have suffered a distinct lack of blog posts lately, and I have the lack of views to prove it. Somehow my energy has been channeled toward other, somewhat pointless things during my free time. Such as Netflix… I seriously mean to change it, which I think means it’s time to come up with some more Another Life posts – as well as updates on my short stories. Let’s start with that now –

I started my second version of Creme Brulee, the one I intend to publish. So far I’ve got an opening scene and three named characters. I’ve made a resolution to finish it very soon… we’ll see how that goes.

In an attempt to be more productive, I’ve bought a moleskin planner to keep track of/organize my writing projects. It starts in July, so I still have a few weeks left before I can start using it. I have to say, I’m looking forward to being organized about writing – although I have a feeling that it will be cluttered with little notes about anything and everything, so it’ll be “organized” the way my bedroom is – I can usually find everything, but it tends to look like a bit of a mess, and there’s never any free surface space.

 

I also want some more short stories to write. Does anyone have any story ideas they would like me to try? I’m open to suggestion and you never know, I just might pick yours. I’ll even credit you for the idea if I ever end up publishing what I write.

Sadly I have to go to work again, but I will try my best to write more often for those who are interested in my writer’s journey.

Somewhat random question: Who thinks more people will be interested after I have work published and a solid fan base?

End of Year Update

I’m going to take a moment right now to do something I hate to do – talk about how little I’ve written.

Totaling everything up, I’m fairly certain that I didn’t write nearly as much this year as I did last year. I did that thing, where I made a New Year’s resolution to write every day. It didn’t have to be a lot, just a few sentences would have been enough to get me into the habit of productivity. The trouble with New Year’s resolutions, I find, is that most people make them at the New Year but forget to renew the resolution every day, which is what you have to do in order to stick to it. Me, I didn’t make my daily resolution to write, so I didn’t write every day.

This year I won’t make a resolution. I’ll just kick myself every once in a while instead, and say, “Hey! Why aren’t you writing?”

I bring this up because, since my last post, another Another Life installment, I really haven’t written anything at all, aside from Christmas cards. Between finally having some work (and being out of the house for large amounts of time because of it), making holiday plans (much traveling involved), and watching lots of Buffy with several of my housemates, most of my time is forfeit. The good news is that over the holidays, I expect to have at least a few hours with absolutely nothing to do, and I hope to take advantage of those hours for a bit of productivity. Maybe in Helen, maybe in an adaptation of Sleeping Beauty which I might self-publish (more on that later).

I expect that I’ll do another flash piece or two before 2010 does end, but here’s what you might expect in 2011:

– more Another Life pieces

– Chapter 3 of Helen, as well as updates about the process and progress of this project.

– links posted for my fictionpress.net account, where I plan to publish some of my fairy tales, and possibly other short stories. For those of you who are unfamiliar, fictionpress.net is a free site, where all writing posted is free to read i.e. the only payment I’ll get for publishing my stories there is publicity – maybe. The site itself is the original fiction version of fanfiction.net, which… I’m not going to explain that one.

Assuming I ever actually write/edit these short stories I want to submit to online publications and fiction contests, the ones that are not published elsewhere after being submitted to multiple places will end up on this site. I would like some real publication credits, but I also want to have these stories read. If no one else wants to publish them, I’ll put them up here myself. The downside to that – I am very certain that my blog has a lot less visibility than those sites to which I submit.

 

Ah, well. Perseverance is the thing. I’ve hardly had enough rejections to merit a publication accepting my work. Who was it who got 38 or so rejections from publishers? It was someone famous, I know, for a very well-known book.

So, in short, have some happy holidays and look out for one or two more posts before the end of the year.