What if the version of you that exists in one universe has to be miserable so that you can be happy in another reality? And what if you’re the one stuck in the unhappy existence? Would the balance be trans-universal, or contained within each universe itself (that is, which makes more sense)? Is there really a balance at all?
I want to be a writer and actually spend my time writing. I want to have a journal in my bag wherever I go, just in case I get inspired and have to write it down THAT VERY SECOND! I want to gaze off into the word-space of my mind and make people feel really awkward because it looks like I am staring at them. I want to sit in a coffee shop with my laptop for hours sipping at a single red-eye after having completely devoured the one pastry I decided I could afford that day, taking up a table for four with just me and my writing materials. (not really the last part. I think it’s stupid when people do that.) Basically, yes, I want to be a stereotype.
Boston is not really helping me out with this. If you’re reading this and you live in boston, tell me something – do you know of a single coffee shop in the area that’s open later than 7? Because, as I spend most days at work, evening is the only time I would be able to do this. Sometimes, when I leave work, I think to myself, “I would really like to get home, grab my laptop, go sit in a cafe with a cup of coffee and just write.”
The two coffee places that are near enough to make this a reasonable pursuit are Cafe Ula at the Sam Adams Brewery and Caffe Aromi on Centre St. (Just in case you were having trouble stalking me, I thought I’d give you a hand…). Aromi closes at 6, which is around the time when I get there after my 1-hour commute. Ula closes at 7, sometimes 8 maybe, but usually 7, I think, and that leaves barely enough time to get in there and order something after getting home.
I suppose it’s always possible to take my laptop to a real restaurant and sit down, but until this is an established convention, I will not be the weirdo who tries to maneuver dinner with a huge laptop at one table. (That is my other mistake – the huge laptop.)
So I could only live my dream of being a coffee-shop-writer by doing so during my scant time off from work, when I have to do important things like grocery shopping and sleeping in, or by bringing my laptop to the office with me. Crowded T, possibly crowded bus, giant and kind of heavy laptop, hour-long commute… yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Basically, until some circumstance or other changes, I can’t be the stereotype I want to be. Can you believe this shit?
I finished Persuasion! It only took me about two months… I don’t remember exactly when I started, but I know I should have been able to finish it much sooner. I liked it. I don’t think Jane Austen books are written in my preferred style. While she is good at expressing what she is trying to express, I find it hard to picture anything, as I am not familiar with the places about which she writes. I’m sure that in her time it was exactly the type of writing people looked for.
I did tear up occasionally, I will say. Although I’m not sure if that was necessarily because of the book. It might have been the music I had playing in the background instead.
So, one actual Jane Austen novel under my belt. I plan to read Northanger Abbey this fall.
Now, I’m finally going to read some Haruki Murakami. It’s taken me a while to get around to it. I was introduced to him while working at the Harvard Coop, but only in the sense of becoming familiar with the name. There was a lot of hype when 1Q84 came out, but that’s a really long book to start with… I decided to ease in with short stories, so I’m reading Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman. I’ve read about five pages so far, so I won’t give an opinion yet.
I will also forego my curse-laden rant about sudden, really heavy rain and my stupid commute. Mostly because I need to start actually working.
1. Pine and long. Whine and/or weep internally.
2. Get this camera sorted out. It’s true that no one has a digital camera that runs on AA batteries (except me), but remember how much you liked taking pictures of things?
3. Say what you mean. Mind-readers are so much less common than you think.
4. Dye your hair. Nothing will change.
6. Sit and watch the rain. This one might take a few days, but it will happen. And there will probably be lightning!
7. Remember which Hindu god is supposed to be the remover of obstacles.
8. Perception is most of experience.
9. Do not buy coffee tomorrow.
10. Ice cream is in the freezer.
11. Try to keep that cat from climbing your legs.
12. Try not to feel.
13. Realize that #12 will never happen.
14. She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies,
Beauty is before her, above, and below her,
As the swan in the evening moves over the lake,
Water, water everywhere,
Oh, you pretty things, don’t you know
I am not there. I do not sleep.
Not much to say on that front. What was true before is still true now. Not a lot of extra time, lack of deadlines… I did manage to complete my futon, so I do have a better writing station at home. I was hoping that would help, but so far it hasn’t done much for my productivity. My room looks much better, though.
If you could do me a favor, show up, bop me on the head, shout,
And then leave, it would probably help a lot. Think about it.