A while ago, I had the artist’s equivalent of a crisis of faith. I thought about my efforts as a writer and wondered WHY. My work seemed so unnecessary compared to that of teachers and engineers. I wished I had decided to be a computer programmer, since the constant development of technology means there will always be something for them to do.
And being constantly reminded that there are no new stories (which, in a very basic sense, is true) did not help.
I just thought about things that were wrong with the world, and the different types of suffering that afflicts people, hunger, diseases, overcrowding, trauma… and I wished I were someone who visibly helped alleviate it. I felt guilty for having a life’s calling that connected more to luxury than survival.
I no longer question that there is a purpose to literature. The value of writing is undeniable, although it seems less and less appreciated by the world at large as the internet continues to create ever more misinformed and illiterate generations…
But I have been wondering what the point of ME is. I haven’t worked on writing at all in weeks now. I can’t even take the time to come out with a miniscule little one-sentence microfiction. I could blame it on my malfunctioning “m” key, but that really isn’t the main problem. And whatever happened to those full days of writing I was going to have? I was so excited about them.
And the thing is, when I do look back over certain projects, like the first two chapters of the Helen of Troy novel I have posted on the tab entitled “Helen” (go read if you haven’t) or the Another Life series, I know they’re good. If I could get off my ass (not literally, as I usually sit while writing) and just translate the ideas in my head onto the screen of the computer, I would be so much closer. I have some ideas for how to get my motivation back, but those methods lie beyond my control. So, anyone have any ideas – OTHER than just sitting down and writing every day, which does not work for me for very long – I might use to get my creative juices flowing?
I don’t know, since I don’t enjoy writing. But, maybe join a writer’s group? Maybe having some deadlines could help? Good luck.
BTW, this is great writing you have done. It’s very REAL.
No ideas. I was never an idea person. But, a person can do other jobs, and write when they feel the urge. In fact, ordinary jobs will force you to meet different types of people who may inspire you to write.
Maybe just “let go” for a while. Live life as it opens up to you. Stop focusing on the end of the journey.
It is good advice you give. It might seem like I’m focusing on the end, but it’s now I’m worried about. I have to do the writing! Otherwise it can never get to the point of being published. And even without thoughts of publishing my work, I am a writer and if I don’t write, I am unfulfilled. So, it is the journey I’m thinking about.